Well the hits I have been getting lead me to one conclusion. People can't seem to get enough of Elegant Elliot Offen. If this guy really knew how to market himself and promote his DVD via a website he might rack up some serious sales. Riiiiight??Anyway plenty of people have been led her to my blog by searching for Elliot, so I present to you three of his lastest MySpace Bulletin rants!
ALL OF YOU WHO COCKLESSLY HARASS ME FROM THE SAFETY OF HOME!!
YOU HAVE FUCKING NOTHING!!! YOU GOT NO STREET TOUGHNESS!!! FOR EXAMPLE LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I GOT ACCOSTERED BY THREE COUNT UM THREE BEDLAMITE, TROGLODYTE, SODOMITE, LOOGAROOS!!! A RUSSIAN, A LATINO, AND A BLACK FELLA SURROUNDED ME FROM THREE ANGLES-LEFT, RIGHT, AND CENTER!!! LET'S GET DOWN TO BRASS TAX-THEY DIDN'T GET MY MONEY! THEY DIDN'T GET ME OFF MY FEET! THEY DIDN'T GET ELEGANT ELLIOT OFFEN THATS THREE OF THEM FROM THREE ANGLES!!! I HAD THE RUSSIAN-HE WAS SIX FOOT SIX-I HAD HIM BY THE TRACHEA AND I WAS CUTTING OFF HIS AIR SUPPLY!!! I TOOK THESE THREE RIFF-RAFF SCUM AND I LEFT THEM FOR DEAD! I LEFT THEM FOR THE FUCKING RATS TO FEAST ON!!! CHEW ON THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK ABOUT HARASSING ME FROM THE SAFETY OF YOUR COMPUTER!!!
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400 FRIENDS ON MYSPACE AND COUNTING-ALL OF WHOM ADDED ME!!!
I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS-I LOVE IT ALL!!! THE AIRWAVES ARE ONLY TRUELY ON FIRE WHEN I, ELEGANT ELLIOT OFFEN, AM BROADCASTING LIVE AND VIOLENTLY TEARING STERN TO PIECES ON HIS OWN SHOW!!! SIRIUS-LIKE NEW YORK CITY AND THE REST OFF THE WORLD STOPS IN A DEAD STANDSTILL, WHEN IN THE MAGNETIC AND HYPNOTIC PRESENCE OF ELEGANT ELLIOT OFFEN-I AM SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE!!!
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I WILL OWN THE WHOLE FUCKING SIRIUS BUILDING ONCE MY LAWYER-GETS A HOLD OF THEM!!! THEY HAVE FUCKING NOTHING, I GOT THEM LINED UP READY TO LEAVE THEM FOR DEAD!!! THE PROSECUTORS OF DADE AND BROWARD COUNTIES COULD NOT STOP ME-THE ENTIRE NEW YORK JUDICIAL SYSTEM COULD NOT STOP ME-THE FBI, THE IRS, AND THE ATF IS ALWAYS A STEP BEHIND ELEGANT ELLIOT OFFEN-I HAVE BEATEN THE SYSTEM TO A BLOODY PULP AND LEFT IT TO ROT!!! HOW IN THE HELL IS THE SIRIUS SECURITY GOING TO STOP THE BARBARA STREISAND OF THE CRIMINAL WORLD-SHUT YOUR EARS AND OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!
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