Artie Lange "Too Fat To Fish" In Stores Today

Stern show sidekick Artie Lange's autobiographical page turner Too Fat To Fish shows up in stores and mailboxes today.

Although I'm not the biggest Artie fan that there is how can I not send a shout out to a guy who managed to land a gig working on a show he grew up idolizing and just so happens to also be the biggest radio show of all time.

I see on Amazon the book is ranked #343 overall but hit #1 during presale.
#1 in comedy
#3 in biographies
#3 in audiobook (with special readings by Bababooey and Bob Levy)

Top that off with the fact that Artie's Saturday gig in Toronto paid him $81k and Artie Lange is having "The Best Week Ever"


Too Fat To Fish-Amazon



FROM THE PUBLISHER-
When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Artie Rehab Confirmed....

After a Howard 100 news not really clarifying things today in their updates Artie's publicist has confirmed that Artie has in fact checked himself into an "outpatient rehab facility".

If you listen to Stern and know Artie I think it is safe to assume that outpatient rehab won't cure Artie's demons. The story does take another minor twist as I did see it mentioned on SFN and the Perez Hilton comments that Artie was seen in Vegas this weekend with Dana. Could it be that Dana and Artie went to Vegas and got hitched over vacation and she mandated that he enter a treatment program to clean up his act?? We know that she has help rehab over his head in the past. That would be a twist to this story that would make things really interesting to say the least.

Regardless tune in at 6am Monday for the details.

Artie Lange Relapse???

Well The Stern Show is on vacation this week, but this morning Howard 100 News reported that Artie Lange was a no show in LA over the weekend for the Bob Saget roast.

This evening Bob Levy's wife has posted on Stern Fan Network that Artie has canceled his gigs for this upcoming weekend, which would be a gig for Levy in PA and a weekend gig at the new MGM Grand at Foxwoods in CT.

Either he is holed up at the shore house with Spitzer's hooker Ashley Dupre, or he is back on the shit. If he is abusing heroin and other drugs again at least he seems to be taking steps to get some help..... Let's see what the announcement is tomorrow.

Artie Lange's Too Fat To Fish Amazon Presale

Photoshop by Funt of SFN

So on the Stern Show yesterday Lisa G announced that Artie's book is available for presale on Amazon.com. The book does not even come out until November, but the presale has begun.

When they announced this today the book stood at # 6,118 on Amazon's list. As of yesterday evening the book was #98 on the sales rank list. I just gave another look and the book sits at #37.But that's right, they want you to believe nobody listens to satellite radio.

And I know many out their say that fans of the Stern show are stupid, so I guess that explains why people are clicking their mouse to order the ghost written diary of the train wreck that is Artie Lange. Plus you know that Artie will be whoring himself out with plenty of book signings, so in my opinion it would be more fun to cop a bag of dope and a fifth of Jack Daniels and go stand in line to get my book signed at Newbury Comics or something rather than order on Amazon.

Seems like the Stern Fans are already in full effect adding all sorts of tags to Artie's book page. I can imagine what that page will look like by the time the book actually drops.

Some of the best "tags" at this point include:

fat, bloated, bank robber, bigot, junkie, morbid obesity, cuddly muffin, fiyah, grandma caprio, hello dum-dum, ossified drunk and many more.


Too Fat To Fish Presale
Artie-Lange
Artie Lange Story

Artie Lange Is Still On The Stern Show

So even though I have the day off today I had the alarm set for 5:53 just like usual so I could turn on the Sirius internet stream at 6am to see what happened with Artie and the Stern Show. The show is back from vacation and this morning we will find out if Artie is still with the show.

Much to my surprise Artie is in fact in the studio and will still be with the show. Howard teased the audience for a few minutes taking phone calls before announcing that Artie was in studio and still with the show.

Below are some snippets from the statement that Artie made at the top of the show:

"I'm sorry, very very very sorry. It's all my fault.... This week I have been overwhelmed by how nice people treated me....Ii got calls from everyone on the staff, I really feel as if I am part of a family....I apologize to the fans....I fucked up in a major way...The show is the most important thing in my life and is probably the only thing keeping me alive. Teddy is a good kid, he is not a thief or stealing money from me, it's just something I said in the moment...More emotion then I have ever felt in my life...From the time I hugged you and went down to the elevator I was in an emotional blackout...This is teh greatest reality show out there... Now that time as passed absolutely you have my permission to play it both on tv and radio... The fans are like my extended family. People are paying for a service I don't want them to think, well shit they are editing stuff... I want you to air it and have people see it.

Artie has spoken with Teddy on the phone and basically said that he did nothing wrong and wants them to both put everything behind them. Told Teddy not to quit his job at Sirius over this...

Howard's thoughts on canceling the replay:

I wanted to do the right thing in this situation...Part of me thinks I should follow this guys, I didn't know if he was going to kill someone or somebody...God forbid if we replay this and it drives him nuts that this all happens. I was generally concerned for you....I thought the audience would understand... I quickly told Tim I don't want to replay this... I did not want Artie to be further distressed. I was afraid you might hurt yourself.

AMSTERDAM:

I saw Teddy and made contact when we were getting on the plane, it was too soon to make conversation... I got to Amsterdam and pulled up to my hotel and two American guys tell me "You fucked up this morning, man." I didn't see Teddy the whole trip. I just stayed to myself....It's such a beautiful city. I didn't do any of the "H's" I love heroin or hookers. These whores are in little lockers....Some of them were old, like Gramdmothers with tits hanging to their knees. I walked around the red light district but did not partake in anything.... I smoked a joint, it was fantastic weed I guess, I took three puffs and I was beautiful. The capital of the wold for pancakes, they are big and light and fluffy...There is a big Dutch woman making them for you, so full of butter. After smoking weed like that and then walking it off and eating some pancakes is fantastic. Syrup was dripping and I was so happy.

Hopefully now that Artie is back he will realize how truly important the show is in his life and to his career and in turn will focus on the show a bit more. A little less sleeping and sugar coma and a little more funny. Riley Martin also just called in and announced he has signed a 6 month contract extension.

Happy 40th Birthday Artie Lange!

Everyone's favorite baby gorilla turns 40 years old today!

Here's to you Artie Lange, so sorry that the Yankee's were eliminated from the playoffs before your birthday even rolled around this year. Today you can indulge guilt free and have that extra cupcake, Linden's Chocolate Chippers, Hawaiian Punch or Carmel Macchiato and Hershey and peanut butter. Heck you only turn 40 once!

And at the rate you are going who knows how many birthdays you have left!

Salud!

The best "Tiny" Art show you have ever seen!

Check out these art installations...Little People- A Tiny Street Art Project.

The pictures are great and the concept is cool as hell.


Little People

InkyMole & Sage Francis Present "If A Girl Writes Off The World"

Crystal and I are heading to Pawtucket after work today to check out Inkymole's art exhibit based upon the music of Sage Francis. The work was previously shown in both London and New York and now comes to Providence to celebrate the end of Sage's Human Death Dance tour.

I found some pics on flickr and some of the pieces look sick. We have a camera with us and some pictures should follow at some point soon.

Saturday @ DeCordova

Some pictures from Saturday's trip to The Decordova Sculpture Park in Lincoln MA. Crystal and I took advantage of the May Bank of America museums on us special and got in for free!

Sweet!

Sal Governale Falls Off Stage with Artie Lange in Lakeland FL

Check it out 16 seconds in Sal The Stockbroker falls off stage while doing The Bababooey Dance!

Worcester's Wholly Cannoli Get Mention On The Stern Show Today...

Artie played at Symphony Hall and had a DVD signing at Newbury Comics in Boston over the weekend. Before the first "Battle of The Blobs" weight loss contest weigh in this morning Artie mentioned that someone brought him a bunch of cannoli's from Wholly Cannoli (unfortuately Artie thought they were located in Boston). Artie gained two pounds last week, while Benjy lost as much as 21 pounds.

Artie blamed the weight gain on the cannoli. They mentioned Wholly Cannoli 3 more times on The Wrap up show. Not a bad free commercial for the store.


Wholly Cannoli Menu
Phanton Gourmet Hidden Jewel

Artie Lange's Beer League DVD #44 on Amazon

Artie gave a 2 second mention at the end of today's show that you can preorder Artie Lange's Beer league on DVD on Amazon. I just went over to see where it was ranked and it is in the top 50. Jeez, it seems by Thanksgiving Artie will have sold more DVD's than tickets.

Remember Artie, you will lose these prime promotional opportunities if you leave the show to do something with Fox. But hey, you were a longshoreman from New Jersey, so how can you complain either way!!


Beer League on Amazon